Are You Listening?

I've been slacking on the blogging, but that's OK, because I don't think too many people read this anyway! ;)

Well, if you're looking for an update on the girls, this is not your post. This is not going to be about the millions of times a day I say, "Are you listening to me?!?" to Avery (or Ben!) that you parents, teachers (and wives) can relate to. This one is about something similar that was put on my heart to write about. Listening to God. (I wonder if he gets as exasperated with us as we do with our own children?)

No, no, I am absolutely not an expert on this listening to God subject, and I will never claim to be! But I've been learning a lot, and this morning I got the strong feeling that I needed to share. That's the difference between my past, and what I am now learning to do ... listen and obey. In the past, if I was experiencing something, and I got the "feeling" to share it, I would talk myself out of it, telling myself no one cares and it's really not that interesting. Here's the thing: It doesn't matter what I think; it matters what He thinks.

So for me, that's how I've been learning to listen to God. He's always spoken to me (and to you, too!) I just didn't realize that's what it was. It's those thoughts that pop into my mind that are loving, or humble, or tell me to do something nice, maybe even step out of my comfort zone. Yep, that's God! I thought it was my voice thinking these things ... you know, the good part of my conscience or whatever. So it was a lot easier for me to ignore them, or talk myself out of doing them, because who cares if I blow my own self off, right?

I'll never forget how one year (in junior high, I think) I saw a new girl sitting by herself in the cafeteria. Having been a new girl myself once upon a time, my heart went out to her, and I got this huge urge to go sit down next to her. I am so ashamed to say that I didn't do it. Maybe if I had realized it was God giving me instructions, I would have been more willing to follow through. Who wants to disobey God on purpose??

Anyway, through some amazing bible studies and discussions with equally amazing women, as well as sermons from our gifted pastors, I've learned that this is actually God's voice. He puts his will on your heart.The tricky part is recognizing it, listening, and doing what He wants you to do. Remember, I said I am not an expert! There are many, many times that I know I either don't hear Him, or don't obey. But that's OK, because He is a loving God and knows that I am not perfect.

So, if you're one of the 3 people that actually read this blog, you know my decision to quit teaching was one of the ways I listened to God. And because I knew it was coming from God, I had complete peace about it. I didn't have to stress and worry that I might be making the wrong decision. I didn't have to second-guess myself. It was what I wanted, but it was because God put it on my heart. Try making your next decision that way. Give yourself time to listen and He will speak to you. If you're not sure if it's Him speaking, or if it's your own wants and desires, then be patient, the time is not right. Keep listening, and He will reveal it to you.

If you're bored, quit reading. If you're not, then here's one more example: Yesterday I was supposed to meet a woman I didn't know to take some maternity pics for her. We planned to meet at a park about 40 minutes away from my house.

While I was waiting for her, I noticed a car pull up and park in a handicapped spot. I watched for a good fifteen minutes while a man about my age struggled to get himself out of his car, set up his wheelchair, adjust his cushions, lift himself onto it, wheel himself to his trunk, tie his legs together, put on his gloves, and probably do some more things I didn't even see because I didn't want to look like I was staring. He did all of this completely on his own. I would have had the urge to help him, but he had a friend there that had come in another car. This friend waited patiently without helping him, so I know he wanted to do it independently. (I'm convinced this was a God-thing, too, him having a friend there and letting me know he didn't want help, or else I probably would have embarrassed myself by going up to him.)

OK, so short story long, the girl I was supposed to take pictures of never showed up. And I wasn't upset at all. I just kept thinking about this guy. Then it popped into my head that I should leave him a note to let him know how much he inspired me. What? Only a total nerdy freak would do that! As I walked to my car, my mind kept repeating three lines that I would write in a note, if I was going to leave him one. Of course I wasn't, though, because that would just be weird....like I was stalking him or something.

Well, I got in my car, took a deep breath, and did it. I wrote the note ... but where would I put it? He couldn't reach his windshield wipers, so that would just be cruel if I put it there! Whew! I was off the hook! Nowhere to put it! But then I got the thought that I should try the license plate holder. Not only could he reach it, but I knew he would go there to put his equipment back in his trunk. Low and behold, after I stealthily crept as incognito as I could over there, the paper fit snugly and securely just under the plate.

OK, so the moral of this (probably lame) story is that it was God who put those ideas in my head! Only He knows what we need. Maybe that guy was having a bad day; Lord knows life must be incredibly difficult and isolating as a parapalegic. I don't know what his story was, and honestly it was none of my business. I will never know if the note I left him made an impact on his day, or if he immediately threw it away. It doesn't matter. I heard God's voice - I got the thought - and I didn't talk myself out of it.

How many times a day / a week do you have these "thoughts"? God speaks to all of us! Are you listening??